Hashm-Ass

Twas the Night of the Hashmas

Twas the night of the Hashmas

When all through Haggin Oaks

Not a single person knew

Of the strange running folks

The trail had been laid

And the beer checks had been set

Soon there were to be Hashers

On that you can bet

 

The Hares were ready

For the Hashers to give chase

With visions of cheap beer

They were off with no haste

And No Hair with flour

And Mommy with Beer

Had just left the Hashers

To be chased soon like Deer

 

Soon the streets were filled

With “On Ons” and “R Us”

For the Hashers were running

To find some cheap booze

Away they ran

After the trail of flour

Hoping the beer was cold

And had not yet gone sour

 

The Christmas lights around

Were a colorful sight

That aided the runners

And gave them good light

They came upon X’s

All circled with O’s

At each they sent out

Fast women and quick Bro’s

 

With the Front Running Bastard

Ahead and so quick

We all heard calls of

“Slow down you stupid Dick”

More rapid than greyhounds

The Hashers all came

And Mommy soon shouted

And called out each name

 

“Now Super, now Dalai

Now Nipples, and Pussy

On Cockoff, on Butthook

Limp Noids don’t be a wussy

Come Kegel, come Tri Tit

Hurry up, don’t go slower

Come Diamond, come Exhibit

You too Diablower”

 

“All come and enjoy

A glass of cold beer

I’m glad you all found

The sign of Beer Near

Now off you all go

After No Hair give chase”

Said Mommy to us

“And have fun, this ain’t a race”

 

And so the Hashers left

Chasing Down Downs and Mirth

Never will you find weirder

Runners on this Earth

With names that confuse

And embarrass your Mom

We are the Hash House Harriers

Our club is the Bomb!