Wankers it time to celebrate “Cinco de Mayo” another American holiday. An American Holiday? You might ask, well let me give you an abbreviated history lesson.
- Mexican peasants beat $hit out of French
- Which means French don’t help Confederates
- Lincoln saves Union
- U.S.A. has a Black president
- You’re Welcum
Meet at the park next to the Kern dirt path (River) bike trail on Elm St and Elm St north of 24th street Westchester. 4 Miles, 3 Beer checks, $5.00. Bring a neewbee especailly if they have boobiees.
Event: Chicano de Mayo An American Holiday Hash 2014
Date: Cinco de Mayo 2014
Location: Elm st and Elm St see A https://goo.gl/maps/z5Rht
Time: 6:30 p.m.
Your immigrant Hare will be Diablower… On On
In celebration of removal of their house arrest ankle bracelet and parole free evening, the three unwisemen of hash invite all BH3 Wankers, Harrietts and guests to their ménage a trois hash otherwise known as the AnalYule Frosty Rehab run through the Haggin Oaks neighborhood.
The run will be hosted by a couple of dropouts from Santa’s elf vocational school, Diamond Dick and Butthook (actually, Diamond Dick was expelled – something about indecent exposure and repeated explosions). There might even be an appearance by another washed-out past apprentice, No Hair Where.
While you are all invited to watch this treesome in action, they encourage all to joined in the fun. So put on ALL your tacky Christmas gear and come out for an evening of idiot-proof trail, perverted Christmas carols and seasonal libations that are not eggnog. Pre-lube starts at 6:30; you will want to gargle with PBR and/or green sploogies to prepare your vocal chords for the evening’s duties.
Event: AnalYule Frosty Rehab
Date: Monday, Dec 23.
Normal time 6:30 p.m.
Gathering: The usual spot, the Kaiser Permanente medical office at NE corner of Ming Ave. and Haggin Oaks Blvd. Map to the A: http://goo.gl/maps/hBVP
Cost: Bring $5 for milk and cookies
PS – Bring a flashlight so you can read the friggin’ songbook.
Download XXXmas Songbook here
Don’t know who is going to hare, probably Jason so don’t expect much and you won’t be disappointed. In fact if I were you I wouldn’t bother to show up, but if you must the following are the only instructions provided by the Hare “Same f@(king park it’s always @. Same f@(king theater. Same $hit. $6” Not my words but the Hare’s.
For any newbees and/or real runners what can you expect,
- Crappy little run probably no more than 3-4 miles.
- Beer stations with crappy beer probably no more than 3-4.
- Green splugees illegal in 15 states
- Dollar store crappy snacks before, during and after
- Christmas songs that will scare the crap out of the neighborhoods
Event: BH3 Christmas Hash – The West-Chest-Her edition 2013
Date: Monday December, 16, 2013
Location: Jastro Park – 1710 Elm Street Central Bakersfield Map to A: http://goo.gl/maps/IcOMR
Cost: Not the Tap ‘N’ Run rip off of:
- Not $60
- Not $55
- Not $50
- Not even $45
but a mere 60 dead Franklin D. Roosevelt coins, or 1 dead Lincoln and 1 dead George – $6
This is a theme Hash to put on your penguin Santa suit and cum out for a good time. Again from experience don’t expect much from our Hare and you won’t be disappointed. Finally, don’t forget to bring some warm cloths and a headlamp, you will need them for the cold, or at least until the green sploogies kick in.