On score and twenty seven thousand beers ago our founding father Big Pete brought forth, on this land of Kern, a new Hash kennel, conceived out of wedlock, and dedicated to the proposition that all except Hash wankers are created equal.
Now we are engaged in a great uncivil hash, testing whether that hash, or any hash so conceived, and so dedicated, can long endure until the next beer near.
We are to meet on a great Bakersfield Polo Community park (11801 Noriega Road (Polo Community Park Parking Lot)) were Techno Twat has come to dedicate a portion of the north-west with beer nears and hopefully boobs as a final resting-place for those who here gave their normal lives, that that BH3 hash might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that they should do this. But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate, we can not consecrate – we can not hallow – these beer near grounds.
The brave wankers and harrietts, drunk and soon to be, who are to struggle with CFT’s promissed off-roading, fences and shiggy will consecrated it far above our poor power to add or detract.
The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never (try as it might) forget (because of the internet and flour check points) what they did here.
It is for us the still undrunk, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished beer nears work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced the cause of PBR and $hitty $alty $nacks.
It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us – that from these honored drunks we take increased devotion to that cause for which they will gave $5.00 the last full measure for their beer nears.
We here highly resolve that these wankers and harrietts shall not have hashed in vain – that this nation, under PBR, shall have a new birth of On Afters and that the Bakersfield Hash House Harriers of the wankers, by the wankers, for the wankers, try as our city fathers and Bakersfield PD might want shall not perish from the earth.
Event:Techo Twat’s Hats in the Belfry Gettys Beer Address Hash 2013
When: November 18, 2013
Time: 6:30 p.m.
Where: 11801 Noriega Road (Polo Community Park Parking Lot) http://goo.gl/maps/QH5cy
Cost: One Lincoln Bill ($5.00)
This is a themed Crazy Hat Hash, because we all are a little mad and Techno Twat likes to dress up. Cum wearing your craziest hat. It’s dark now don’t forget your headlamp. Lincoln would have done it for our country.