The analyule Christmas Lights run through the Haggin Oaks ‘hood will take place on Monday, Dec 14. Get out all your Christmas duds, bells, lights, etc., and come out and embarrass yourself at this analyule spectacle featuring beer, schnapps, obscene carols and perhaps sploogies.
The Chief Elf is on the disabled list, so the morons guiding the pack this year will be Diamond Dick and Butthook. Be prepared for anything, the run could be 4 miles or 1/4 mile you never know.
Meeting regular time 6:30 pm Monday December 14th 2009 in the parking lot of Kaiser Permanent corner of Haggen Oaks Blvd and Ming Ave. Bring $4.00, a flash light. Dress appropriate for the holiday is mandatory. Cum one, cum all for glad tidings and cold beer.
For never yours
The following is a special holiday poem
T’was the night of Thanksgiving and out of the house
Tiger Woods came a flyin’, chased by his spouse.
She wielded a nine iron and wasn’t too merry,
Cause a bimbo’s phone number was in his Blackberry.
He’d been cheatin’ on Elin, and the story progressed.
Woman after woman stepped up and confessed.
He’d been cheatin’ with Holly, and Jaimee, and Cori,
With Joselyn, and Kalika. The world had the story.
From the top of the Tour to the basement of blues,
Tiger’s sad sordid tale was all over the news.
With hostesses, waitresses, he had lots of sex,
When not in their pants, he was sendin’ them texts.
Despite all his cryin’ and beggin’ and pleadin’,
Tiger’s wife went investin’ — a new home in Sweden.
And I heard her exclaim from her white Escalade,
“If you’re gettin’ laid then I’m gettin’ paid.”
She’s not pouting, in fact, she is of jolly good cheer,
Her prenup made Christmas come early this year.