Sweetheart you are no longer by my side
Loving you was my religion
The reason for my existence
Since you are not with me
It must be because God made me a martyr for love.
One of the most beautiful songs ever made about lost love and hope for redemption.
Horse Pucky, Fiddle Snaps and Barley Brew
She left you for that pigmy in Bolivia because he had a wawa the size of his gorilla face. Plus you were too immature to know what was in front of you all those years.
He left you for Sven from San Francisco because, while it doesn’t happen much, you would cause ANY previously straight guy to turn gay.
For the rest of you living in a “So Called “stable relationship, stop living the lie. You know you could have done better and SO does she.
If you are unattached, there is a reason and the world knows it.
Frankly all of you are worthless and Need to get punished. Lucky for you Mistresses Double D and Dash are taking pity on your worthless shells and will dedicated this Mondays Valentine Day Hash to all your romantic failures. Love Hurts is the theme, dress in black and red, leather and zippers. Bring whips if you have them. We know you’re all failures at love so be thankful that anyone is even thinking about your sorry nalgas on this day.
Event: Love Hurts Valentine Day Hash 2018
Date: Monday February 12th
Location: 401 Lewisham St. There will be grub on after and possibly chocolate, if Dash doesn’t eat it out first.
Hares: Mistresses Double DD n Dash
Time: 6:30 pm
Bring a fleshlight