Come check out Kelsey’s virgin lay. Deflowering in the parking lot of Sam Lynn Ballpark, off Chester Ave. just south of the mighty Kern River. In honor of this special occasion, Kelsey will be wearing a wedding dress – to symbolize something or other, I didn’t quite get it. You are invited to put on your most virginal outfit, or your sluttiest, whichever you deem appropriate for the occasion.
As always, bring $4, a flashlight, and an appetitie for the Hash Sacrament. And none of this “I gave it up for Lent” nonsense, OK? See ya there.