Wankers,

Seems like it’s time for a pastoral note regarding concerns over the PBR-19 pandemic. We are all responsible (??) adults, and it’s time to act the part. We urge you to follow the guidelines issued by the CDC. If you have symptoms of any respiratory ailment, no matter how minor, please stay home. You don’t want to incur the wrath of your fellow hashers, I guarantee. If you have any “underlying medical conditions,” do what is necessary to protect yourself. Follow the good doctors’ advice and wash your hands. If no soap is available, just piss on your hands. That should take care of any infectious agent waiting to attack.

Tomorrow’s run will be a St. Patrick’s pub crawl. Come if you want, or stay home if you want. Just pay attention to normal hygiene standards, don’t shack up with any homeless folks, and all will be fine.

ON ON!