Category Archives: Sport social club

Bakersfield Hash House Harriers Annual Red Dress Run 2012

It is with deep regret that the Bakersfield Hash House Harriers invites the running and drinking pubic to the 20 something (plus or minus a few years, we havn’t kept good records) running of the annual BH3 Red Dress Run.

As it has been for the foreseeable past, this years trail of drunken debauchery in plus size pantyhose, through the streets of Bakersfield will be lead by that Russian, Jew, Gemologist, Oklahoma Reservation escapee, Oil F*#ker and convicted felon Diamond Dick. Believe me we tried to get someone else to hare but all were smart enough to say HELL no.

Event: Bakersfield Hash House Harriers Annual Red Dress Run
Date: Monday, June 18th 2012
Time: 6:30 pm
Location: Downtown Bakersfield, 20th and Eye St
Cost: I don’t know but bring $10 just to make sure.

So put on your red dress and load up your Kodachrome camera for a sight unlike other on the streets of Bakersfield. To quote a group of spiked hair tattooed pierced punks as we ran by them in 2010. “Boy you guys are weird!!!”

The Bakersfield Hash Harriers, a Drinking club with a running problem, is a non for profit (not by choice) anarchist socialist social club-we have no leaders and govern by consensus. Our members include (or have until they were deported) illegal aliens working their butts off  and Tea Party wingnuts living off government pensions; gay and the closeted (yes, we know who you are); Mother Theresa want-a-bees and the excummunicated; face eating Zombie lovers; teachers who hate kids; ethnic Zacatecas nationalist and national socialist; Mexicans who think they are white, and whites who are Mexican by injection; an Asian that destroyed the myth of Asian intellectual superiority; and a $hit load of mentally unstable members off their medications (why else would they live in Bakersfield) and at least one new wankett that talks to the dead.

Our only reason for existence besides drinking and public urination is the humiliation and exploitation of it’s members based on race, class, ethnic origin, mental and or physical limitation, political affiliation, natural vs implants and especially sexual orientation. Have any doubts just ask any of the following:Wiscuntsin, Abercuminme Bitch, Assholiness, Asshopper, Bloodery Nipples, Bloodplug, Boy Sauce,  Bring’em Young,  Burning Bush,  Butthook, Cunt Hunter, (ewe fucker, UFucker or You Fucker-take your pick), Fucking Ass Grabber (FAG), 5 O’cock cream, Testical Festival, Chainlink Pink, Chicken Pot Guy, Mighty Aphrodite, Clitorally Speaking, Peter Swellers, Necrophiliac, Commander Cockoff, Constanteenie Weenie, Cumbrella, Great Barrier Queef,Cumpond W, Cums Rapidly, Dalai Labia, Dammit Janet, Diamond Dick, Exhibit Whore, Morning Wooden, Eddie Cuntster, Cunt Force Trauma, Hard-drive (he wishes), Diablower – Fuckin Jose, Eta Smegma Pie, Just Two, Excrementos, Face Down Ass Up, Livingroom poon, Glocksucker, Jabba the Slut, Josie and the Pussywarts, Kegel Meister, Lick It or Ticket, Limp Noids, Ma Hard On, Maid of Mist, Matzo Balls, Meat in the Middle, Oildaled Mary, Mechanical Bull, Mexican Humping Bean, Microscrewery, Mommie Queerest, Bad Ass Tongue Tricks (BATT), Motley Spew, Mount Me Here, Mrs. Doubtfire, No Hair Where?, Palm the Pink, Penizuela, Porno Pippi, miniBH3, Ramblow, Selfcuntious, Small Loads Only, Sperma la Douche, Squat & Hover, Stay Out Stay Alive, Shut the Fuck Up, Pecker Wrecker, Womb Broom, Superintendent of Stools, Sweet BS, Textual Deviant, Titty Titty Gang Bang, Tri-Tit, Techno Twat, Trojan Whore, Underdeveloped Overexposed, Union Jackass. Others yet to be namely abused include but are not limited to Just: Adam and Larrie, Constance, Edith, Vincente, Paco, Chris, Olivia, Louise, Ismael, Devina, Alex, Jose, Rocio. Finally a special BH3 welcum to our newest namee – which I am told particularly hates her name, making it all that much better – Sour Juggs.

See you all there On On

Volkslauf 2010 Beer Aid Station

Drink of the Gods

As is our right and duty to corrupt as many soles as possible while they are weak out for a good cause.    BH3 calls upon all Hashers near and far to assist again at this years Volkslauf.  Meet Limpy and Butthock at the appointed location about 8:00am.  A donation of 36 cans or keg of shittiest beer would be greatly appreciated.  See note from our fearless leader.

Ladies and Sperms,

Volkslauf will be occuring this next Saturday morning Oct. 2. As in the past the Bakersfield Hash Harriers, as a humanitarian gesture, will host an aid station for the participants. Of course we all know that the best way to aid someone doing a mud run is to give them a shot of refreshing ice cold shitty beer.

This is a volunteer effort. If you are interested helping with the aid station please show up and/ore reply to Limpnoids via email. We will meet on the northwest corner of Hwy 65 and Merle Haggard Drive (aka 7th Standard Road). There is an AM/PM station there. Please plan to be there by 8:15 am. Link to the meeting point map is as follows. Go to the “B” point on the map.

One other thing. If you volunteer to help please also bring a case of cold shitty beer. The only way to fund the aid station is by contribution so please help out. We will go through a sizable volume of beer handing out to 2000 mudrunners (minus the underage ones of course).

So, in summary, if you’d like to donate your time and some beer it’s for a worthy cause. Plus it’s worth it to see the looks on mudrunner faces when they realize it’s NOT water it’s BEER!

On On!
Limp Noids