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Coronavirus Rhapsody

Stolen from the interwebs….

Coronavirus Rhapsody

Is this a sore throat?
Is this just allergies?
Caught in a lockdown
No escape from reality.

Don’t touch your eyes
Just hand sanitize quicklyyyyy
I’m just a poor boy, no job security
Because of easy spread, even though
washed your hands, laying low
I look out the window, the curve doesn’t look flatter to me, to me

mama, just killed a man
i didn’t stay inside in bed
I walked by him, now he’s dead
mama, life was so much fun
but now I’ve caught this unforgiving plague

mama, oooooh
didn’t mean to make them die
if I’m not back to work this time tomorrow
carry on, carry on as if people didn’t matter

too late, my time has come
sends shivers down my spine
body’s aching all the time
goodbye everybody, I’ve got the flu
gotta leave you all behind and face the truth

mama, oooooh
I don’t wanna die
I sometimes wish I never went out at all

I see a little silhouette of a man
what a douche, what a douche
did he even wash his hands though
security is tightening
very very frightening me
Gotta lay low (gotta lay low)
Gotta lay low (gotta lay low)
Gotta lay low masturbate
Masturbate O O O O

I’m just a poor boy, facing mortality
HE’S JUST A POOR BOY FACING MORTALITY
spare him his life from this monstrosity

Touch your face, wash your hands, will you wash your hands?
BISMILLAH NO WE WILL NOT WASH OUR HANDS! (WASH YOUR HANDS!)
BISMILLAH NO WE WILL NOT WASH OUR HANDS! (WASH YOUR HANDS)

BISMILLAH WE WILL NOT WASH YOUR HANDS! (WASH YOUR HANDS!)
WASH YOUR HANDS! (never, never, never wash your hands oh oh oh oh oh oh oh)
No no no no no
Oh mama mia, mia (mama mia wash your hands!)
COVID-19 has a sickness put aside for me, for me

So you think you can stop me and just shake my hand?
So you think we can hang out and not break our plans?
Oh baby, can’t do this with me, baby,
Just gotta stay home, just gotta stay home with my fever

oooooh

Curving can get flatter
Anyone can see
Curving can get flatter
Curving can get flatter, you’ll see

Just look out your windows….

PBRvirus-19

Wankers,

Seems like it’s time for a pastoral note regarding concerns over the PBR-19 pandemic. We are all responsible (??) adults, and it’s time to act the part. We urge you to follow the guidelines issued by the CDC. If you have symptoms of any respiratory ailment, no matter how minor, please stay home. You don’t want to incur the wrath of your fellow hashers, I guarantee. If you have any “underlying medical conditions,” do what is necessary to protect yourself. Follow the good doctors’ advice and wash your hands. If no soap is available, just piss on your hands. That should take care of any infectious agent waiting to attack.

Tomorrow’s run will be a St. Patrick’s pub crawl. Come if you want, or stay home if you want. Just pay attention to normal hygiene standards, don’t shack up with any homeless folks, and all will be fine.

ON ON!