Once upon a time in the vibrant town of Bakersfield, a quirky running group known as the Bakersfield Hash House Harriers was preparing for their most anticipated event of the season: the "Hare and Hops Run." The excitement was palpable as everyone gathered at the Zeppos Pizza, ready for an evening of fun, laughter, and maybe a few beers along the way.

At the front of the pack stood their charismatic leader, C@N’t Frce Trmpa aka CFT. With his floppy wawa and mischievous grin, CFT was well-known among the group for his incredible speed and knack for leading the most entertaining runs. Expect himi to wear his signature rainbow bandana around his neck, signaling that he was ready for some hare-raising adventures.

The run was set to cover a friendly three miles, with at least two “Beer Nears” for you can also expect $tale $alty $nacks and water—perfect us puZZys. As the group gathered at the starting line, the air buzzed with excitement. Participants donned their running shoes, some even sporting whimsical costumes to channel their inner hares.

“Alright, everyone, on your marks!” CFT shouted (not really but ok), his nose wiggling with anticipation. “Let’s hop to it!” With that, the group that included Tr@nny, Techno, SPAZ, Just Eye Reen visiting JackieMeOff and others took off after the hare, a motley mix of runners and walkers alike. They jeered one another as they bounced down the path lined with trees, laughter ringing out as CFT led the charge. His energy was contagious, and he hopped along the route, periodically glancing back to ensure everyone was keeping up.

After about a mile, they reached the first stop—a quaint little grassy clearing where the smell of freshly baked snacks wafted through the air. CFT bounded ahead, leading everyone to a long picnic table set up with an assortment of goodies: pretzels, cheese, and, of course, ice-cold beers. “Time for a quick toast!” someone called out, lifting their beer in the air. “To friendship and fun!” The group clinked their cans together, enjoying the refreshing drinks and tasty snacks. They cracked jokes and shared stories of past hashes, their spirits high as they took a moment to recharge.

After a lighthearted break, it was time to hit the trail again. CFT gathered everyone, ensuring that both the speedy runners and leisurely walkers were ready to continue. “Let’s hop back to it!” he called, and with a burst of enthusiasm, they set off again.

The second half of the route led them through a scenic path filled with wildflowers swaying gently in the breeze. Somewhere along the path, CFT decided to play a little trick. He zoomed ahead, zigzagging through the flowers, pretending to be lost while the rest of the group followed in delightful confusion.

“Where did he go?” asked Diablower as he chuckled, panting a little but clearly enjoying the chase. As the miles melted away, they reached the second stop: a shaded grove with a beautiful oak tree. Here, more snacks awaited them along with another round of delicious beers. Gutterwet was bubbling with joy, recounting their favorite moments from the run so far.

“Who knew running could be this fun?” laughed one participant as they took a sip of their beer. After a well-deserved break, they started the final stretch toward the finish line back at the park, guided expertly by CFT. The sun was beginning to set, casting a warm golden hue over Bakersfield, and the camaraderie within the group felt stronger than ever.

As they crossed the finish line, Labrador and F.A.G. erupted in a cheer. At that moment, the feelings of joy, success, and friendship filled the air. CFT, basking in the camaraderie he had fostered, took a triumphant hop and declared, “Let’s toast to our amazing Hare and Hops Run! May we always run together, drink together, and make memories together!"

That day would become a cherished memory for all, mourning the fact that missing @BakoHash wankers and harrietts missed such a great event—the day the Bakersfield Hash House Harriers ran with a hare, enjoyed great beers, and celebrated the beautiful spirit of community.

So let’s all gather for this glorious event to cum at Zeppos Pizza in Northwest Bakersfield. Monday August 19th, 2024. Cost for event $5. Young (over 21) or old, new hasher or Dmnd D!K, #Reddit, #OF, #FB, #X or #FetLife all are we!cum this this event.

https://maps.app.goo.gl/1HeDsfFRmCNRC4or8

<If anyone believes any of this I’ve got a cheap bridge over to the ‘Dale for sale.

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